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What a crack

Working for a carpet furniture shop a while back I took a call from a customer who had her rooms measured and was waiting for the fitting. Not having any of the details I asked her what the fitter looked like so I could speak to him when he came into the shop. " to be honest ", she said, " I saw more of his arse than his face"
Overheard by john - furniture shop
Posted on Thursday, 05th October 2006
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Brains or brawn??

Last year I was helping out at a charity function with my mum.

I was reeled into helping with the tea and coffees upstairs when in walks the Miss.Cork for that year.

I offer her a tea and she replies, "No but could you be a sweetie and get me a bottle of water." I got her the water and as I was walking over to give it to her, I overhear her in conversation with the Chairman. "Isn't it desperate what happened to the people all the way over in Tsunami?" She actually thought Tsunami was the location.

Allegedly
Overheard by liddle ol' me - Charity Function in Cork
Posted on Friday, 23rd December 2005
Rating score (461) | Email to a friend

The Peoples Bubble of Cork

When on a J1 visa in America 2 summers ago we ended up living and hanging out with a gang of lads from Cork. One day we were discussing the night life in Limerick (my home town) when one of the Corkies piped up 'Can you smoke in pubs in Limerick??'

I mean come on!!!
Overheard by Dara - America
Posted on Friday, 08th December 2006
Rating score (436) | Email to a friend

Nice metaphor

Munster final in Pairc ui Chaoimh a few years ago in the terrace at half time I turned to a guy beside me who was from Cork and I said to him "god this place is packed ain't it" to which he replied in his really strong Cork accent "Packed! Packed you say! There ain't room here boy to turn a fecken sweet in ur mouth!"
Overheard by JimmyOneBall - Pairc ui Chaoimh
Posted on Wednesday, 24th October 2007
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You can beat the Cork wit boyyyyyyyyyyy !

During a local soccer match many moons ago, there was this new kid on the block, nicknamed "Chilli". He was getting his first run out for his new team, unknown to the auld fellas on the sideline.

Auld Fella No.1: "Whose this new fella Chilli we have on the wing?"

Auld fella No.2: "He's Con Kearney's young fella!"

U'll travel many miles to beat the Cork wit boyyyyyyyy !!
Overheard by Dave - Local Soccer Match
Posted on Thursday, 30th June 2005
Rating score (428) | Email to a friend

Chinese Council

Two summers back I was sitting outside my house up de northside, it was one of those days when the sun was splitting the stones, every young one was half naked and ice-cream vans were doing they're rounds. As i was soaking up the sun I noticed my neighbour had appeared at his front door in just a pair of shorts. At this moment a Chinese council worker(would you believe it)walks up his drive and says to my neighbour "where ya bin" To my bewilderment the conversation that followed had me laughing for weeks "where u bin" says the Chinese fella "I was in Spain for two weeks" My neighbour replied obviously very proud of his tan! "No where u bin" The council worker asked again with a confused look on his face. "I swear I was in Santaponsa for two weeks bhoy!" "No where u wreally bin" Getting angry at this stage as you can well imagine" "Alright so you bastard I was down in Ballyhiege for the summer" After I finally stopped laughing I had to explain to my neighbour the poor Chinese man was looking for his wheelie bin haha!
Overheard by Anonymous - Northside
Posted on Thursday, 15th March 2007
Rating score (426) | Email to a friend
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