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Are you positive? |
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| My sister worked in accounts at the Mercy Hospital a good few years ago.She tells a great story of a woman coming to settle her bill. She approached the window shouting out "I have the HIV, I have the HIV!" When in fact she was referring to having health insurance known as the VHI!! |
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Overheard by Anonymous - Mercy Hospital
Posted on Sunday, 23rd September
2007 |
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Oh Mercy! |
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A fella arrived at the front door of the Mercy Hospital and asked the night porter could he visit his granny.
"What ward is she on?"
The porter replied: "I don`t know that, all I know, is that she came into to A and E the other night and now she's upstairs in the intensive care on a vibrator." |
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Overheard by Anonymous - at work in the Mercy
Posted on Saturday, 22nd September
2007 |
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High society |
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I was chatting up these girls in a niteclub when I asked:
"Are yous on bebo?"
"No" one girl said with a saddened look. "Can't afford gear just now" |
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Overheard by fuctifino - Reardon's Mill , Cork
Posted on Saturday, 22nd September
2007 |
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Blind american |
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| My friend works in a tourist agency and two Americans walked in one of them asked why the traffic lights beep in Ireland my friend replied thats for the blind the American turned to her partner and said "did you hear that the blind can drive in Ireland!!" |
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Overheard by ashley - Cork tourist agency
Posted on Saturday, 22nd September
2007 |
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You can't copy the "other" sport |
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Two cork girls giving out that the waterford cork match is being played again this sunday.
girl 1: "its not on, i've spent a fortune this weekend and now i have to f**king spend more money next weekend"
girl 2: "ya i know, i dont understand why they couldnt do a sudden death like the world cup" |
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Overheard by Billy bob - Bus to Cork
Posted on Tuesday, 18th September
2007 |
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The northside accent |
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I was easons today and overheard one of the shop assistants attending to a customer, he was a young fella looking for a certain book.
Shop assistant: "whats the name of the book?"
Young lad: (a real thick northside accent) "jamumba me"
The shop assistant repeated this back to him and he replies: "no, jamumba me"
She repeats it back again to him, he's getting really annoyed now and and says it again, finally the shop assistant asks him to write down the book title. After he writes it down she announces the books was called 'do you remember me'
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Overheard by Sophie - Easons
Posted on Sunday, 16th September
2007 |
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The Worst pain of the All |
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| I overheard two women chatting in the street. Pointing down to her little boy, the first woman says "isn't a toothache the worst pain of them all, Maggie?" "Nah, Teresa!" says the other woman. "An earache - there's nathing worse!" Then the little boy looks up and says "but did ye ever get a kick in the goolies?" |
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Overheard by raphael - city centre
Posted on Thursday, 05th July
2007 |
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Whale Watching |
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Whilst in the tourist office in the city a German woman came to the information desk and told a gentleman working there: "I wish to go see whales."
The man, put on a dead-pan face replied: "Swansea-Cork ferries has an office on Union Quay."
You can imagine the tourist was NOT impressed. |
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Overheard by James - Tourist Office
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd July
2007 |
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Look of an angel, mouth of a sailor... |
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I was on my way home a few months ago waiting at the pedestrian crossing for the man to green to let us cross. All of a sudden a girl who couldn't be more that 10 ran across and nearly got knocked down by a passing car. The driver slammed on the brakes and started beeping his horn to which the young (angelic looking)girl repies: "Save your horn for yur missus ya auld bollix" Priceless!!!
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Overheard by Lucky Lass - North Mall, Cork
Posted on Sunday, 01st July
2007 |
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A cork wedding |
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| I was telling my friend about a recent wedding my daughter was at in Kinsale where she was asked to do the "Walls of Ennis" dance. He replied: "I heard of the Battle of Kinsale but never the Siege of Ennis." |
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Overheard by Anonymous - The Cotton Ball
Posted on Wednesday, 13th June
2007 |
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Celebrity Savvy |
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| Back in 1998, I was watching Blackburn v Manchester United at my uncles house in togher with himself, my dad and my brother. In the last minute of the game, David Beckham broke through the defence and scored. The tv pictures cut to Posh Spice in the crowd applauding proudly. My uncle, obviously not keeping up to date with the celebs of the day, says to my dad, 'Look, its Michael Jackson!' Myself and the brother nearly killed ourselves trying to conceal the laughter... |
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Overheard by Ronan - Uncles house, Togher
Posted on Friday, 04th May
2007 |
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Church of da wha? |
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| A friend of my mothers was working in the telephone exchange and a rather old lady came on the phone looking for the church of the erection. she was referring to the church of the resurrection on the north side of cork. Undoubtedly this friend had to restrain themselves from boughts of laughter! |
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Overheard by colum - Cork
Posted on Wednesday, 18th April
2007 |
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