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Never too early for Timewasting |
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At an AUL game against a team three divisions above us, we took a shock lead in the 8th minute. Two minutes later, the ball went behind our goal for a goal kick.
"Take your time Keeper" was the call from the sideline - with 80 minutes left!! |
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Overheard by Anon - Soccer Match
Posted on Thursday, 16th June
2005 |
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bus eireann's guide to hitchhikers! |
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Myself and my friend were on a bus from limerick to cork after coming from the uk for Xmas. We were sitting directly behind the driver, as we drove thru charleville we passed a hitchhiker on the road, as we approached him he started walking backwards thumb out, really expecting the bus, which we all had paid to be on, to pick him up on the dual carriageway, obviously the driver didn't pull in, but as we past he stuck up his finger at us. The driver just laughed as did a large portion of the bus.
We got to mallow and as we turned onto the dual carriageway who was there on the side of the road again, but our man the hitchiker.... the whole bus started laughing as we approached him again, same cheap gobshite, different town, waiting to see what he would do this time, but it was the good ole corkonion bus driver who stuck his finger out and called him a langer laughing his head off!
I knew I was home....
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Overheard by CAROLINE - on bus eireann from limerick to cork over xmas
Posted on Monday, 13th June
2005 |
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THE NOT SO DODGY DRUNK |
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| I WAS WALKING DOWN NORTH MAIN STREET WHEN THIS DODGY DRUNK LOOKING GUY CAME TOWARDS ME, AS HE GOT CLOSER HE STOPPED ME ON THE STREET POINTED TO THE GROUND AND SAID ' SORRY LUV, YOU DHROPPED YOUR EYES' THEN WALKED OFF LAUGHING...... |
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Overheard by CAROLINE - NORTH MAIN STREET CORK
Posted on Monday, 13th June
2005 |
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Don't let this guy paint your house |
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(Carthy) A buddy of mine was on about his folks painting the house one time.
Another one of the lads asks him what type of paint it was.
He replied "can't remember the name but it's the paint from the commercial with the Durex dog" |
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Overheard by Del - Youghal
Posted on Thursday, 09th June
2005 |
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American schools don't teach geography as well as they used to |
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| This was technically overheard in Cork. I called up a friend in America. She told me she couldn't talk because she was on a long distance call to Texas. |
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Overheard by Matt - Western Road
Posted on Wednesday, 08th June
2005 |
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Sweet sympathy |
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| Someone I know was talking to an old man who said " Isn't it terrible about the Kyle More cancer." (perhaps he meant Kylie)... |
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Overheard by mars - on a bus
Posted on Monday, 30th May
2005 |
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Tea anyone? |
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I was sitting in class in UCC with some friends a while ago, chatting instead of doing our classwork. We were talking about food and drink in different countries, and someone mentioned Irish Cofee, and how you can get it almost anywhere in the world.
To which one of the girls (who is foreign) replied "Irish coffee isn't my cup of tea at all!" |
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Overheard by Dr. Funk - UCC
Posted on Saturday, 21st May
2005 |
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Snack Bar |
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One day last month I was in town with 2 female friends of mine, when we decided to go for a coffee in a cafe on Patrick’s street. We went up to get our coffees and one of my friends got a yellow snack bar also. The cafe was busy so we sat down at a table which a man (we did not know him) was sitting on his own. My friend with the snack bar was sitting across the table to this man and the snack bar was open between them. She took the first square of biscuit and eats it. Then to her surprise he took and eats the second. We all looked at each other in shock. She said nothing and eats the third biscuit. He then followed and eats the fourth. Again we were shocked. I was able to see the funny side of it but my friend was getting annoyed. She eats the second last and yes he eats the last.
He then got up to go to the counter. We straight away started talking about his rudeness. He came back with a muffin. Opened it and put it in front of him. My friend then got a brain storm. She reached over grabbed the muffin and took the biggest bite she out of it. We quickly stood up and left.
Going down the street she was talking about how rude he was and how she showed him, then her phone rang. She put her hand in to her bag to get it. She felt around and then pulled out the snack bar she had bought in the cafe. So she eat half his snack and half his muffin.
What the man thought of her I do not know.
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Overheard by Peter - Patricks Street
Posted on Thursday, 19th May
2005 |
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Seasons Greetings |
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Was at my rugby club talking to another player who's from New Zealand . Another player approaches and asks him how he got on on his holidays in New Zealand last June.
Irish : "So what was the weather like in New Zealand in June?"
Kiwi : "Not bad mate but its Winter in June at home"
Irish: "Ohhhh , so did you go home for Christmas?" |
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Overheard by B.S - Rugby Club
Posted on Monday, 16th May
2005 |
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Ball enlargement |
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I was in UCC the other day, and I saw 2 girls walking by the Student Centre. A guy goes up to one of them and says "Hey girl, do ya know where I can get my balls enlarged around here?" and then walked off giggling.
The girls didn't seem too impressed... |
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Overheard by Dr. Funk - UCC
Posted on Monday, 09th May
2005 |
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Careful now |
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| A few years ago when everyone was getting to grips with new banking innovations like ATM cards, my elderly neighbour was attempting to extract cash from this highly complex machine....upon entering her ATM card and correctly identifying her PIN (which was a great achievement for her) she proceeded to whisper as close to the machine as possible so as not to alert any deviants as to her intentions "Can I have 20 pounds please?" |
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Overheard by Decker - Wilton Shopping Centre
Posted on Monday, 09th May
2005 |
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Who says Corkonians are pretentious? |
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A woman says to the waitress in a cafe in Oliver Plunkett St. "Is your coffee fresh?"
"Oh, yes" replies the girl.
"Oh - I'll have tea, so!" |
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Overheard by Tony - Oliver plunkett St.
Posted on Monday, 09th May
2005 |
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