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What an ass! |
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| At a Frisbee tournament this past Autumn, one of the players yelled out, "I have the foot-eye coordination of a donkey!" |
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Overheard by Matt - Mardyke Pitches
Posted on Thursday, 11th August
2005 |
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Cork Logic |
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My father used to be in the Cork Symphony Orchestra when they played with the Ballet company in the Opera House years ago.
My mother and I used go to support him and one Christmas while we were watching the ballet these two oul wans in front of us talked through the entire first act.
At the intermission, my mother leaned over and asked the two ladies if they wouldn't mind not talking through the second part and one of them answered her:
"What's wrong wit ya? Sure dere's no words!"
How can you argue with that?! |
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Overheard by HM - Cork Opera House
Posted on Monday, 08th August
2005 |
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Don't they know????? |
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| On the Air Bus coming into Cork City at the weekend, a Cork student behind me sees pairc Ui Caoimh and says " is that Croke Park", to which his female companion replys " of course it is, are you stupid Boy" |
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Overheard by Garrett - On the Air Bus
Posted on Monday, 08th August
2005 |
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Bloody foreigners |
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I was on the bus from Cork to Waterford. We were stopped in a town somewhere in Cork. The bus driver got up and addressed the passengers
"Is there anyone for (I didn't catch the name of the place).. ?"
A man in front of me said
"Sure they're only foreigners in that place"
To which the driver replied in a thick Cork accent
"Well so am I boyo, so watch your dirty filthy mouth!"
Classic. |
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Overheard by Clare - On the bus, somewhere in Co.Cork
Posted on Tuesday, 19th July
2005 |
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The Blacker than Black Stuff |
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Todays first Cork story puts me in mind of years ago, when Murphy's Brewery was going thru' a rough patch and was bought by a consortium of publicans, some from faraway Dublin. They promised to boost sales and used great energies to do so. Their strategy appeared to be working very well, until near closing time one night in darkest Crumlin a punter yelled up to the barman 'Hey fella, Gissanudder pint o'that Gurphys!'
( Apologies to the current management, it was a long while back) |
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Overheard by milo - In UCC a long time ago
Posted on Friday, 15th July
2005 |
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The thyme is..................... |
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| My sister stacking shelves in Dunnes Stores in Patrick's Street was asked a question by a woman in a thick North Cork accent. What my sister overheard this: "Come here love do you have the right time"? To which she replied, "yes it's quarter to three". The woman broke out in hysterics saying "no, no love... do you have dried thyme"? |
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Overheard by Steve - Dunnes Stores in Patrick's Street
Posted on Friday, 15th July
2005 |
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Mary really was a virgin |
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Oul wan #1: "What happened to Mary after Jesus died?"
Oul wan #2: "Dunno, did Joseph look after her?"
#1: "Him? He was a man, probably ran off"
#2: "Well, you can't blame him, they didn't even have sex!!" |
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Overheard by Chef - Bus stop, South Mall
Posted on Tuesday, 12th July
2005 |
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p's and q's |
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| While working in a hurling club one summer I was asked for a "Pint o' Beamish willaaah!" Enough said! |
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Overheard by shin - gaa club, blackrock
Posted on Thursday, 30th June
2005 |
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You can beat the Cork wit boyyyyyyyyyyy ! |
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During a local soccer match many moons ago, there was this new kid on the block, nicknamed "Chilli". He was getting his first run out for his new team, unknown to the auld fellas on the sideline.
Auld Fella No.1: "Whose this new fella Chilli we have on the wing?"
Auld fella No.2: "He's Con Kearney's young fella!"
U'll travel many miles to beat the Cork wit boyyyyyyyy !! |
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Overheard by Dave - Local Soccer Match
Posted on Thursday, 30th June
2005 |
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Mr. Wipe-y or Mr. Whippy? |
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Seen rather than heard! On the way home one sunny evening, I hear the familiar Ice Cream van coming back from his rounds......never seems to come into my estate though.... Anyway, the van approaches and I don't cop-on at first to the name of the ice-cream man emblazoned on the front. 'Mr. Whipy' it read.....
Whoever left out that second 'p' wouldn't do too well in marketing...God knows what sort of 'icecream' you get in that van.... |
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Overheard by Bimbar - On the road to Ballyphehane
Posted on Friday, 24th June
2005 |
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7 foot Figians!!!!!!! |
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| Walking down Shandon street to work and Setanta O'Hailpin was walking down in front of me, when he was working in the bank. As you can imagine everyone was looking and wishing him luck for whatever match was coming up. At the bottom of Shandon street there were 2 old fellas waiting outside the post office for it to open. Setanta walked past them and as I walked past them about 2 seconds later, one says to the other "come here boy, was that the young hailpin fella?" to which his friend replied "erea no boy, there's 7 foot Figians walking all round the place". Laughed the whole way to work that morning! |
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Overheard by Oz - Shandon Street
Posted on Thursday, 23rd June
2005 |
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Quoi? |
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| On the number 2 bus from mahon one summer day. A young fella was chatting up a french student and trying to find out her age by shouting at her "whadayjarya?" in his musical cork accent. She was unsurprisingly puzzled all the way into town! |
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Overheard by shin - number 2 bus
Posted on Friday, 17th June
2005 |
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| Copyright © 2005 Overheard in Cork |
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