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Lovely |
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I was in UCC for work experience a few weeks ago and as i walked past a little group of students. One girl was going one way, and her friends were going another way. The girl shouted after her friends:
"I'm fertilising sea urchins tomorrow" |
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Overheard by livi - UCC
Posted on Saturday, 11th March
2006 |
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Don't Forget Your Shovel |
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In a "Gentlemans Club" in New Jersey, out with a fellow ex-pats, having a few drinks when a dancer comes up and starts hustling for a dollar. Goes up to one of the lads from Cork. Starts a bit of Conversation:
Lad: "You enjoying the snow?" (Ya'd think he'd come up with a better line)
Dancer: "Its the first snow I've seen since I've come to America."
Lad: "You'd better get used to it."
Awkward silence. (She's from Russia, not a great grasp on the English language, especially with the Cork accent going) She pushes her breasts together. Lad puts the dollar in between and says:
"Her ya go luv, go buy yerself a shovel!!!" |
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Overheard by Derek - New Jersey, USA
Posted on Sunday, 12th February
2006 |
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Having a ball |
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| Guy who's clearly sick of his female companion giving him dress advice when he just wants something comfortable that fits: "...no, I've told you, you know I can't wear 501s - they make my balls hurt!" |
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Overheard by Anonymous - Roches
Posted on Monday, 30th January
2006 |
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Horse it in to me! |
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| One of the lads from Uni was headin down to Cork on an Inter-Varsity thing and got "lucky" with some Cork bird. So after the music died and they got the taxi back to her gaff they got busy on the sofa. he Dublin lad was doing the usual stuff to get the girl even more up for it when the culchie bawled"Enough of that fancy stuff boy, horse it in to me!" Needless to say he did the business and got the f**k out of there ASAP. |
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Overheard by Kev - Cork
Posted on Thursday, 19th January
2006 |
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its to-doo-da |
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I was in the Alteration place on Singers Corner when a foreign girl came in with a bag with a broken strap.
The woman behind the counter said sorry but we don't do bags. Then the girl asked "is it worth getting fixed do you think?"
the reply
"its to-doo-da!" |
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Overheard by L.S. - alteration place on singers corner
Posted on Thursday, 05th January
2006 |
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Brains or brawn?? |
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Last year I was helping out at a charity function with my mum.
I was reeled into helping with the tea and coffees upstairs when in walks the Miss.Cork for that year.
I offer her a tea and she replies, "No but could you be a sweetie and get me a bottle of water." I got her the water and as I was walking over to give it to her, I overhear her in conversation with the Chairman. "Isn't it desperate what happened to the people all the way over in Tsunami?" She actually thought Tsunami was the location.
Allegedly |
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Overheard by liddle ol' me - Charity Function in Cork
Posted on Friday, 23rd December
2005 |
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Farm Machinery |
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| There was a woman in front of me in the queu, a farmers wife I presume. When it came to her turn. She said to the young girl behind the counter, who was no more than 16 and from the city, "do you have a back acter for a john deer for the young fellow" the girl just stood there blank she had no idea what the woman had asked for. Woman: "it's on order" at which stage the girl got the manager to deal with the woman. I had to contain myself with the laughter. |
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Overheard by The Hat - World of wonder toy shop kinsale road
Posted on Thursday, 15th December
2005 |
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STARVED LIKE ! |
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Two Cork teens standing at the bus ....
"Jay biy , I is fooking starved "
" Ya biy, I is too,"
" 'I'd ate a horse in between two bread vans " |
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Overheard by KC - THE PUB !
Posted on Wednesday, 14th December
2005 |
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taxi for Ger |
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| Was working with a fella in John Graces years ago, used to stay on for a game of cards after work. We had to use the payphone to call the cabs when we were finished. Ger was on his way to the payphone when the girls decided to call it a night too. Shouted at Ger to get 2 cabs. His response? "You only gave me one 20 pence boy!" Took the langer a good 5 minutes to figure out why we were laughing. |
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Overheard by kevin - John Graces Cook Street
Posted on Thursday, 08th December
2005 |
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A dog's life |
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Outside my local having a smoke,shortly after the ban came in. This well known Tipp man walks in with a dog on his shoulder who had previously attempted to chew the barman's leg.
Barman:"That feckin dog is barred from here!"
Tiobradan:" That dog never smoked a fag in his life!!!"
We had to pick some of the ould fellas off the floor they were laughing so much. |
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Overheard by kevin - A bar under the Shandon bells
Posted on Thursday, 08th December
2005 |
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Supporting Sheep |
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In O’Sullivans bar in Crookhaven in September. Enjoying a fine pint of Murphy’s, a read of the Examiner and the banter. An the American tourist entered the bar declaring that on the way down she couldn’t help noticing that some sheep had red paint on them and some had blue paint, and why was this. Quick as a flash she was told “Well Madam, it all depends on which football team they support”. There was more than a moment before the penny dropped. When she was told the correct reason she exclaimed that she "preferred" the first explanation and left contented.
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Overheard by Barney - O’Sullivans bar in Crookhaven
Posted on Wednesday, 16th November
2005 |
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Is that the time? |
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| I was walking home from UCC down College road on my way home one evening. I was hoping to catch a bus but thought I might have missed it. I saw a girl waiting at the bus stop and asked her innocently "Sorry, have you been here long?" before she could reply, over my shoulder I heard "Hey you!" I turned and saw this guy coming charging over to me in a fury. "What did you ask my daughter? What kind of fella are you? What the f*ck do you think she is?" He swung at me and missed. I ran and ran and ran all the way home. I went home by bike from then on. |
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Overheard by Triggerfinger - College Road
Posted on Sunday, 13th November
2005 |
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