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Misguided American |
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As I was walking down Patrick Street a few years ago, a brash American was talking at a frightened-looking pensioner whom he had cornered in the door of Porter newsagents, and bellowing this:
"Y'know fella, I come from Boston and one thing I can't believe is I've seen more beggars and bums here in Cork than I've ever seen in Boston. Ten times more. C'mon, it's not like you Irish ever fought in any big wars or anything so they have no excuse. No missing limbs. No war wounds. So no spare change from me."
I would have looked as frightened as that old man if I'd been trapped with an ignorant Amerian like that too. They can be dangerous! |
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Overheard by Daryl - Patrick's St.
Posted on Thursday, 08th February
2007 |
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I only call them |
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| Drinking in the Hawthorn bar this regular customer would always get the bar man to order a cab at 5:55pm every day. If the cab was anyway late he use to call the barman: "Where's me cab?" The barman always use to reply: "Christy I only call them boy I don't drive them" |
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Overheard by Derek - Hawthorn bar
Posted on Thursday, 01st February
2007 |
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A bookie with a sense of humour |
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| In Curraheen Park greyhound track over the summer, queuing to put a bet on. Guy in front of me says to the bookie "I'll put a fiver on horse number 3" to which she replies: "OK, but what'll ya do if the jockey falls off..." |
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Overheard by Ronan - Curraheen Park greyhound track
Posted on Tuesday, 30th January
2007 |
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CSI: Cork |
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| Having moved to Dublin in the last few months, and of course making friends with a number of Dubs, I invited one such friend to Cork over Christmas. On a night out with my family, after being introduced to Murphy's stout and later a friend of the family she said loudly, "Well I wouldn't mind a DNA sample from him!!" It took a few seconds for everyone to work out exactly what she meant but it inevitably caused raucous laughter. |
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Overheard by Anonymous - At home in Cork
Posted on Wednesday, 10th January
2007 |
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Look of an angel, mouth of a sailor... |
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I was on my way home a few months ago waiting at the pedestrian crossing for the man to green to let us cross. All of a sudden a girl who couldn't be more that 10 ran across and nearly got knocked down by a passing car. The driver slammed on the brakes and started beeping his horn to which the young (angelic looking)girl repies: "Save your horn for yur missus ya auld bollix" Priceless!!!
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Overheard by Lucky Lass - North Mall, Cork
Posted on Thursday, 07th December
2006 |
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Brains versus Beauty |
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I was waiting for a friend outside the library in college. Along walked a slightly unattractive bottle-blond student in her early 20's with a female friend of hers and she said "I was saying to Mark that I think I'll fail some exams and he said it doesn't matter if I fail them because I'm beautiful."
Does the poor girl stand a chance in life? |
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Overheard by Declan - Outside my college (not saying which one) library
Posted on Tuesday, 19th December
2006 |
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Pesky gangsters |
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On the bus this morning and this old lady sitting in front of me was chatting to her friend, well more like ranting...
"The break from the Soviet Union was the worse thing that ever happened. All them gangsters and thugs moved west and brought their drugs with them and now we have a drug problem here. And did you know that they're making the Chinese fight too? The Chinese are a lovely crowd but its those gangsters that make them want to get into all that warfare stuff. I'm telling you, we should never have split from the Soviet Union..." |
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Overheard by helen - No. 5 Bus
Posted on Friday, 15th December
2006 |
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First Class Dummies! |
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| Was in the Westpark Hotel one night and overheard two girls talking about going on holiday... one girl said she'd love to fly "first class", the other girl says "yeah, me too, you will get there faster" |
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Overheard by Ger - Westpark Hotel, Ballincollig
Posted on Monday, 11th December
2006 |
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The Peoples Bubble of Cork |
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When on a J1 visa in America 2 summers ago we ended up living and hanging out with a gang of lads from Cork. One day we were discussing the night life in Limerick (my home town) when one of the Corkies piped up 'Can you smoke in pubs in Limerick??'
I mean come on!!! |
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Overheard by Dara - America
Posted on Friday, 08th December
2006 |
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Little white flag |
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I was at an Under 16 hurling match watching my younger brother. Some of the mothers on the touchline appeared to be confused about the rules, then one of them comes out with this;
"I don't know much but when he waves his little white flag it's a try" |
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Overheard by maggie - Muskerry
Posted on Thursday, 07th December
2006 |
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Nostalgia from sir henrys |
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Years ago when Sir Henrys rock pub wasnt long open, myself and a few friends were having a few jars there, when in walks two norries.
They had just installed a big screen for showing live rock concerts, and the two young norries parked beside us to watch it.
For 5 minutes we're watching a Rollin Stones concert, but there's no sound. Norrie #1 turns to Norrie #2 and says
"Jaysus Mary, what a night we picked. Its music for the deaf!" |
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Overheard by maroin - Sir Henrys
Posted on Wednesday, 06th December
2006 |
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Good catholic |
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| In a pub the northside of Corks some perfectly respectable looking fella in his early 20s was complaining about a lock in that was planned but never took place due to the unusually high garda presence "Where am I going to sleep now, I was gonna drink all night then get a lift home with my mam after mass!" |
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Overheard by Anonymous - pub on the northside
Posted on Thursday, 26th October
2006 |
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